It's you who mistakes reality for the truth

Last week I checked out the Director's Cut of Neon Genesis Evangelion Episodes 24-26. It wasn't what I was expecting. I think I'd confused the Director's Cut with End of Evangelion; as far as I can tell, the only change in the DC is some additional dialog and better titles. It's been a while since I watched the regular version so I'm not sure.

I did catch a quote this time around that I'd missed before, though: "It's you who mistakes reality for the truth." To really get the meaning of this sentence you need to watch the series, or at least the last two mind-bending episodes. As I choose to interpret it, this quote teaches us to disentangle the real from the possible. Too often we get locked into defining our options in terms of our experiences. In our personal lives, we might think that because we have not done something before, that is something we cannot do. Similarly, societies can become entrenched in a way of thinking that promulgates the past rather than explores the future.

In the worst case, you would run the risk of becoming a Shinji Ikari. But I think a lot of us (certainly including myself) fall into this trap with far more subtle results. There are many things I've given up trying because I've met with failure before. I need to train myself to try and look critically at what is possible, not at what has been done.

Houses of the Holy

As I'm sure you're all aware, I'm still trying to figure out what the purpose of this blog will be. Honestly, so far I'm not that impressed. All the good blogs I've read (admittedly a small sample) have two things in common. First, they are focused on a particular topic, whether that is movies, the software industry, or the author's daily life. Secondly, they are interesting to read and speak with a unique voice. So far I'm failing on both counts. I think I'll continue this experiment a while longer, say a month, and then re-evaluate and see whether it's time to get a master plan or pull the plug.

My old web site actually had a good amount of focus. While I originally intended wide-ranging updates, everything that eventually got posted was a story of the form "Here's what Chris did last weekend and what he thought about it." I haven't been doing that much on here, frankly because the amount of interesting stuff I'm doing here is far greater than that in Kansas City, and it would be both repetitive and time-consuming. At the same time, though, I'm finding my original rationale still holds: I get asked about some of these events repeatedly, and it's more convenient to point people to one place.

So, I'll cover two such events: What I Did Over Labor Day and My Dinner With Aaron (aka Chris's Adventures in Public Transit.) Feel free to skip if you're not in the "Gee, I wonder what Chris was doing last week?" camp.

As I've mentioned before, one of the greatest things about living here is that I'm anticipating more visitors, and will be able to serve as a better host. People rarely came though KC except explicitly to see me, and there was a dearth of interesting activities to pursue. What was available was further curtailed by the season and timing of the visit. Out here... well, there are plenty of valid reasons not to live here, but I can't imagine anyone who wouldn't want to visit. Great weather, lots of culture, vast choices of sporting events, interesting cities, beautiful parks, terrain features, the list goes on. I've been encouraging people to take advantage of my new situation, and was delighted when my mom asked if she could visit over Labor Day weekend.

Again, the great thing about hosting here is simple variety. I whipped together a quickie list of 20 possible activities, including things like "Museum of Modern Art in San Francisco," "Earthquakes soccer game," "Pacific Ocean," etc. I'm in a great situation, because I'll eventually be able to do all these things, so I can let my guest's interests drive the trip. We made arrangements and she arrived early Saturday afternoon.

That weekend was the San Jose Tapestry Arts festival. Those of you who've been to the Taste of Chicago probably have an idea what this was like, although in this case the main attractions were local artisans selling their wares. The whole event covered... probably ten blocks, it was definitely large. We had fun strolling through the open shops and looking at what was available. The offerings covered every conceivable option, including photography, leatherworking, tie-dyed shirts, animal portraits, glassware, pottery, modern sculpture made from car parts, and more.

The shops anchored the festival, but there was much more going on. More commercial vendors, such as Bank of America and Verizon Wireless, were allowed booths on the fringe. A whole row was dedicated to social and political groups. The only booth with no visitors was staffed by a very sad-looking representative from Young Republicans of Santa Clara. Everywhere else, people were laughing, chatting, handing out antiwar flyers, registering to vote, and more. The Libertarian and Green booths were right next to each other, and the booth boys actually seemed to be getting along well. Man, I love the political climate here. Right across from the political row was one of many collections of food stands. I bought an excellent Kielbasa sausage and Mom got stuck with a tepid bratwurst. We repaired to an open memorial field, eating and chatting under the flapping flags.

After finishing I got a better look at it. I'm still not sure what it's called, but this is a square in downtown San Jose near the Guadeloupe River, I think off San Carlos street and a few blocks west of Market. It's a memorial to soldiers, and featured a really great plaque adorned with quotations from soldiers from ALL of America's major wars, from the revolutionary up through the first Persian Gulf war. It was really touching to read the soldiers' own words. Some were funny, others were touching. Mainly it made me sad. Even in the "good wars," people die who should have lived. You can argue that war is sometimes a necessity, but it's never the best-case scenario. (Example: America was right to fight World War II, but it would have been better if Hitler had never come to power in Germany and tens of millions of lives were saved.) I long for an age when war and the threat of war no longer occupy our thoughts.

After spending some more time in the festival we swung back towards the library, where we had parked. I love the Martin Luther King Jr. Library and wanted to show it off... it's new, well-designed, and has an insane amount of resources. It is a cooperative venture between the City of San Jose and San Jose State University, which means it combines the variety of resources you would find in a public library with the stacks you'd expect of a university library. It also boasts modern accessories such as a cafe, used bookstore, rooftop access and more.

From there we checked out SJSU itself. I really like the campus. It's located right in the heart of San Jose's downtown, but it feels closer to Washington University than, say, UIUC. There's a great quad and plenty of greenspace throughout.

The next day was our beach day. This was my first chance in a long while to see the ocean, and I wanted it to be "just right." Thanks to the Internet, I acquired a list of promising beaches in the area, then winnowed down the options to a few. In the end Manresa State Beach, on Monterey Bay, won for its advertisement of visible sealife and good views from the bluffs. So we packed up, ventured over the mountain range and headed south.

It was very pleasant at the beach. The water is very cold this far north in the Pacific so we didn't even bother to bring swimsuits, but several people in wetsuits were able to frolic in the water. Several were beginning surfers, others used bodyboards. When we first arrived, around 10AM the sky was very overcast. I was very confident that the sun would come out, and was proved correct: by noon the clouds had completely receded. We enjoyed walking along the beach and sitting in the sun. I put on suntan but a little too late; even now my forehead is still peeling. We brought supplies for a picnic and passed the time in good spirits.

I don't know about you, but being at the beach can really knock me out. The combination of the warm sun, lack of movement and rhythmic waves is practically trance-inducing; I rarely feel so calm as when I leave a beach. Even if I know I've gotten a burn.

That night we checked out a nearby Thai place. This was the first time I'd been to a "real" restaurant in San Jose outside of work. I enjoy eating out and especially trying new foods and places, but it feels weird to do it on my own, so it's nice to have an excuse to drag someone along. Fortunately, it paid off well. They had the deepest menu of any Thai place I'd been to before and I tried a new dish, a pork creation that was extremely tasty. Mom stuck with the always-safe-and-delicious Pad Thai.

On Labor Day proper we chilled in the apartment for the morning. Mom always enjoys contributing to my place, and in this case she picked up some liners and tricked out my drawers and cabinets with them. One of many touches that I wouldn't have considered on my own, but looks quite nice once done.

In the afternoon we headed out to the San Francisco Bay. Getting to the shoreline can be tricky because the bay is surrounded by a system of sloughs, swamps and salt ponds. However, a park near the southern tip took us on a scenic route past an open landfill to a really charming view of the bay. We could see over to the eastern side and, closer in, see some windsurfers experimenting in the waters. It was surprisingly chilly there, even though the sun was out.

My cousin Jennifer generously invited us over for dinner Labor Day. Jenny and her husband Jose will always have a special place in my heart; it was during a visit to see them and other acquaintances in Northern California that I first fell in love with the area and decided I wanted to live here. Although it was many years ago I can still vividly remember loving the weather, and admiring Jose's collection of wine (I was too young) and baseball cards (never too old). Jose had even taken me on a nerd tour of the valley, pointing out the office tours where Oracle, Sun and more were located. Their warmth and generosity as hosts ended up making a profound impact on my life.

Jenny and Jose have moved since then, into a beautiful house on a lake in Redwood Shores. They also have a wonderful daughter, Isadora. That night we were joined by Fran, Jenny's mother and my favorite aunt, who currently serves in a Unitarian church north of the bay area. Dinner was excellent, a delectable and relaxed affair out on the back porch, overlooking the lake. I'm never much of a talker in these situations but I love listening to everyone's stories. They're a fun family and I hope to see more of them now that we're so much closer.

One problem I always have: I never know how to end these reports. I really want to put together a concluding paragraph, but it can be hard to express right. Well, anyways, that was my Labor Day: as a combination of exploring, experiences, companionship and conversation, I don't think I could have asked for anything nicer.

Artists Only

I don't have any new ideas for posts, but I feel like it's been too long since I've done anything. So, here's a collection of lists.

The Five Best Video Games I've Ever Played, That I Thought Of While Sitting Here (e.g., the list would probably be different tomorrow):

1. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
2. Final Fantasy X
3. Ultima VII
4. Sid Meier's Civilization 2
5. Baldur's Gate II
   

The Five Video Games That Have Had The Greatest Influence On Me:

1. Castle (Old DOS game)
2. Hero Quest / Quest for Glory I
3. Space Quest III
4. Ultima VI
5. Civilization II

The Five Video Games I've Probably Spent the Most Time Playing:

1. Dance Dance Revolution (various mixes)
2. Civilization
3. Civilization II
4. The Elder Scrolls: Morrowind (And I'm not even done yet! Maybe not even halfway!)
5. Half-Life (counting online play)

The Five Greatest Disappointments:

1. Ultima IX
2. Civilization III
3. Black & White
4. Xenosaga Episode I
5. Return to Krondor

Five Games I Respect Greatly For Their Creativity That Are Also Fun But Don't Last Long Enough To Justify Being My Favorite Or Most Influential:

1. Rez
2. Ico
3. Space Channel 5
4. Super Monkey Ball
5. Katamari Damacy
   

Idea for future posts: describe why titles made the list, especially the "biggest influence" ones.

I shouldn't wait until a later post to clarify that "Disappointment" does NOT mean something I disliked; rather, these are all games I enjoy that, except for a fatal flaw or two, would have had a shot at my Top Ten list. Except for Return to Krondor. That was just an awful game and a waste of the excellent legacy of Betrayal at Krondor.

I'll probably linkify this post in a few days.

You are mad and educated, primitive and wild

I hope you all are doing well and have a splendid Labor Day. On Monday, please spend a few minutes thinking about the history of the labor movement. Realize that barely a century ago, little children worked in coal mines, there were no safety regulations, and there was no upward mobility within established industry. Do you work in a sector represented by a union? If so, what should unions be doing differently today? If not, what would an ideal union look like, if you had any at all? Has the labor movement completed its task, and if so, why do we still celebrate this holiday? Share your thoughts, I'd seriously like to hear what everyone is thinking about this. Bonus points if you include quotes from Robert Aspirin's "The Cold Cash War."

Haven't you heard it's a battle of words

I should preface this post by observing that I am extremely ignorant about music. I can be a little self-conscious and defensive about this at times. Growing up, I was surrounded by talented musicians... my dad, in addition to being a worship pastor with a Master's degree in music history, has incredible depth of knowledge about jazz, classical, rock, and world music. My mom has sung in a choir for most of her life. Each of my siblings played a separate brass instrument (French Horn, Trumpet, Euphonium) and most were good piano players as well.

And me? As best as I can recall I took a month of piano lessons when I was really little, and took mandatory music classes through elementary school and junior high. I certainly didn't dislike music, but I sensed that I had little aptitude for it. Throughout my life I've always focused on activities that I can excel in, so it's little surprise that I didn't dive further into this field.

Since leaving for college, though, I have come to regret my lack of experience. This is true for several reasons, but one of the biggest ones is that I'm often frustrated by my lack of musical vocabulary. I didn't become really excited about individual bands and genres until towards the end of high school, and while I have built up a fair collection of pieces I enjoy, I can only express my opinions in a few limited ways. Which I suppose is pretty minor as problems go - some would consider it an advantage that I can't become High Fidelity-esque about my appreciation - but still, I'd like to be able to explain to my dad why Massive Attack is so groundbreaking, or be able to describe Sigur Ros and Boards of Canada to friends in such a way that they can actually tell the difference. I'm tired of always saying "Atmospheric" and "Avant-garde" to describe things I like.

OK, that was really just a disclaimer. I love music but am very, very, very far removed from expert status. With that in mind, on to the post:

Like almost every form of popular entertainment I can think of, with the possible exception of televised professional football, modern music is narrowcasted. It feels like producers have given up on finding the next 1980's-era Michael Jackson crossover that appeals to many segments of society. Everything is aimed at little insular audiences with little crossover. Rap and hip-hop are for people under 30. Jazz is for white middle-class professionals over 30. Classical is for middle- and upper-class whites of all ages. Country is for people in rural areas or south of Mason-Dixon. And so on.

Now, I realize that there are plenty of exceptions. The point is, though, that regardless of who actually listens to them, the massive marketing that takes place doesn't even try to move items outside their cultural category. There's been no serious effort (that I'm aware of) to sell country music to Asian immigrants, or to introduce the older generations to the interesting things happening in modern hip-hop. Each segment is analyzed and focus-grouped, not challenged and given encouragement to grow.

There are two hypotheses I'd like to make. First, digitized media are having a revolutionary effect on the way individuals approach music. In one way I think this is actually sort of negative. With the exploding popularity of ipods and other portable personal media players, you can easily become isolated in a world of your own music. There's a definite appeal to hearing only music you like, but in the long run it will drive you into the insular situation that's killing Oldies stations today: without any fresh blood in the form of new artists and genres, you grow indifferent and eventually hostile to the music you once loved. While personal collections are great, they should always be growing and changing. I don't see us returning to an era when excellent music from all genres coexisted on the radio, so that means the onus is on consumers to seek out and find new material that interests them. Here, though, the great advantage of digitized media appears: low barriers to access. Like many people reading this site, I would not own half the CDs in my collection if it wasn't for the ready access I had to mp3s while in college: more specifically, I was introduced to excellent electronic bands, groups you will never hear played on the radio, but that grabbed me in a way few other bands have. By seeking out people with good taste in music (easily defined as "People who already like things that I like"), my horizons expanded dramatically.

My second hypothesis is that the current state of the music industry means that we won't get any help from the industry in achieving cross-pollination of genres and cultures. That means that it is entirely up to outsiders to do so. It's been interesting in the last year to see who acts as an advocate for tearing down these barriers. One pleasant surprise is NPR, long parodied as a celebration of all that is dry and calm, which actually spins some challenging records. Whether featuring the new Coldplay on prime-time "Morning Edition" (and rather intelligently, in a 60-second segment breaking down their debt to Radiohead, the importance of their touring and commercial tie-ins as well as critiquing individual tracks) or piano arrangements of Massive Attack on "Marketplace", I think they're doing a phenomenal job at showing the best of today's "young" music to an audience that probably doesn't hear much of it. Musical acts on sketch shows, long irrelevent for Saturday Night Live, are quite powerful on "The Chappelle Show," not only introducing black artists to white audiences but also refusing to limit the show to a particular genre of artist.

I think some of the most exciting work is happening at the fringes of public recognition. My dad once said that the mark of a great work of music is that it can survive the transition to another musical form: witness the "Symphonic Pink Floyd" or the numberless borrowings of the opening of Beethoven's Fifth. One CD in regular rotation here is "True Love Waits," by Christopher O'Riley. Christopher is a classical pianist who has rearranged works by Radiohead for the piano; even better, they're incredible to listen to. Please check out this CD if you haven't already... I hadn't realized until listening to this how much of a musical instrument Thom Yorke's voice is, or how tight Radiohead's harmonies are. My admiration of O'Riley grew after reading an excellent interview with him in the Chicago Tribune (sorry, no link, but I can make a photocopy if you want). In this interview he made clear that his love of good music transcended form, and that the joy of watching parents' awe of Radiohead matched his joy at seeing their children truly appreciate a night of classical performance. O'Riley also hosts a show called "From the Top" that bridges the gap between classical music and modern sensibilities.

Part of the reason I'm thinking about this so much is that I'm incredibly psyched to have scored a ticket to see O'Riley in concert in Santa Cruz later this month. I'm looking forward to seeing him live, and also am really curious about what kind of crowd will make it out. It's held on a college campus, and I'd love to see college kids pack the house. Likewise, I wouldn't be surprised to see an older audience there, nor to see families. Either way, I'm already in row "I" when ordering almost a month in advance, so hopefully he'll get a full house.

That's it for now. In summary: a major problem with music today is that the industry encourages isolated communities of listeners. Technology can either make this problem worse, by further dividing us into individual listeners, or better, by letting us experience new music outside the label/radio/album cartel system. I hope it will get better, aided by the efforts of media not affiliated with the industry proper.